Sometimes I'm Just Tired Not Uncaring

Look I feel pretty comfortable in saying I'm on the social justice bandwagon. I am so much on this wagon I legitimately frustrate people on a regular basis.

I try to call people out on their bullshit. On their sexism, their racism. Sometimes they're just a toxic person. I won't take it. I don't have to take it. I will rail against the world again and again.

The problem I'm starting to notice though, is people are beginning to see this as my default personality.

Looks here's the thing: I don't want to be a Debbie Downer all the time.

I don't want to be negative. I don't want to have to list study after study and research. And I have a pretty crap memory. Some days the only thing I can think to say is "this is wrong and hurtful behaviour, you hurt people saying this". And I don't have a study to back it up. I don't have a list of resources I can automatically rattle off.

I have a rather terrible memory. So this happens a lot. The problem being that it doesn't mean the person isn't still being hurtful. And I need to say something. I have a bone-deep rattling sensation of this is wrong and I won't let it go.

But sometimes? Sometimes I'm fucking tired.

Sometimes I don't want to say anything. Sometimes I don't want to fight. I don't want to argue. It fucking hurts too. To sit/stand there and bite my tongue. It's ridiculously hard. But in doing so I grant myself a reprieve. A span of an hour I know is still mine and isn't caught up in trying to explain to someone "no, you're being mean and unfair, stop it, you're derailing, stop it, just stop".

Sometimes I don't want to have to spend an hour arguing points with someone I know isn't listening anyway, with only a half-cobbled together list of resources from my absolute wretched dredges of memory.

And sometimes I don't want to talk to even like-minded people about the people who are hurtful.

And the problem I'm noticing is that even in like-minded circles? I'm getting abuse. Not intentional, not meaning to be. But apparently there are people out there that just don't understand I'm tired. I can't always be on.

I don't want to talk about the jackass from work that hits on every woman and will never change. I don't want to talk about the lady at the gas station who comments about how every POC that comes in is just waiting for a good moment to steal from her, or worse. I don't want to talk about the jackass who comes in and asks when I'm due and looks unapologetic when I tell her I'm not pregnant. I don't want to talk about the people so full of classism they see Food Stamps as a crutch and everyone abuses the system. I don't want to talk about the dumbass in high school who said two chicks are hot but two dudes is disgusting (and I have downgraded that for your benefit, no, you don't want to know).

I don't want to fucking talk about it. I just want one fucking day.

I'm tired and I hurt and no, I can't ignore it. Because it's happening everywhere. I turn on my tv, I listen to the radio, fuck I watched the Oscars and through the whole movie montage went "there are maybe 7 women for the 30+ men". You know how I know this? I counted. Without realizing. I was fucking counting in my head already knowing how it would end. Women would be under-represented. When did my brain become hardwired to see this?

I'm glad for it, don't get me wrong. But I can't enjoy anything any more. And that's good. I'm seeing the issues. I'm seeing the problem. And if I see it, I can try to fix it. But good goddamn it's everywhere.

And I'm fucking tired. It's exhausting. And I can't ignore it. And I know it won't go away by ignoring it. And I'm really really sorry. I am. I'm sorry.

But please stop getting mad at me for asking for just one day, one hour, one minute of blessed silence.

It's not I don't want you to be angry. I do. I want you to be angry. I want you to fight. I want me to fight. I want the whole world to understand these things are not okay. But you know how hard these battles are. They're draining and exhausting.

And I'm not that strong. I can't fight every day.

And I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I'm sorry.

I just- Need a minute. Please.

Please stop being angry with me.

Accompanist (Or If You're Mean to Your Accompanist You Are A Shitty Person And You Should Feel Bad)

So I saw this post recently and it gave me accompanist feels. So here's a musical rant for all you.

Look here's something people may not realize. Every singer you see? Wouldn't be half as good without accompaniment. How many times have you heard something instrumental and a swell of music makes you pause (see: LOTR music)? That's musicians. Who when there is a singer involved are lumped in the phrase: accompanist. Without people realizing exactly the contribution they give.

Here's the thing, accompanists aren't just playing blindly. Well maybe they are, but good accompanists aren't.

If a singer sings softer? The accompanist will play softer, if they're louder? They have to be louder (of course exceptions exist). But this generally means that in anywhere as short as three minutes to as long as three hours, this person is consistently listening. Listening for queues and shifts and changes.

And here's the thing. Singers? Adlib.

Not the lyrics... Well no, that's a lie. We totally adlib lyrics when shit hits the fan. I once repeated the entire first verse of Habenera (and no one noticed, go acting) cause I repeated a line by accident and, being in Canada, decided repeating the first verse would be better than slicing in the second. Since lots of people in Canada can speak French and splicing verses would've led to sheer dafuq-ery.

But anyways. Sometimes you sing a line six different ways and on performance night? Sing it a seventh. Your accompanist is listening for these queues.

An extra breath, a pause for emphasis, a pause cause you forgot your next fucking line (fml), a pause cause you tripped onstage and hiccuped a phrase (again fuck my fucking life).

Accompanists matter.

And I was lucky enough to have a phenomenal one.

A good accompanist can make or break you. If you are singing and you go off note, or off rhythm or just off practised script, a good accompanist can save your ass.  And make it sound intentional.

Do you understand that power? Do you understand the trust of "this sheet music is terrifying to me, but I trust you to play this, and if I screw up for you to hold me and help me"? Accompanists matter.

I had the same accompanist for three years. I transferred schools after. But I paid my dues. I paid a significant amount of cash when I probably could have found a cheaper student accompanist. Because he was phenomenal. He was and is to this day, the most amazing man I've ever met. He is still a good friend of mine. (And his wife was my singing teacher and I love her too, basically a beautiful family all around, their kids are fantabulous as well.)

But I would bring in a piece of music. And he would sit there with me and explain the history. He was my music history teacher as well. He would tell me about how certain words should be emphasized because that was the intent of that era. How this composer meant this, and the story of their life and who they were. I connected to the words and the poetry and the melody. He connected me to the history. The intent and true meaning. The person behind the tune.

We would dabble in timing and rhythm. This Italian piece had more flair. This contemporary piece was meant to be sung straight. Certain key aspects of things I never would have thought about.

And he watched me.

I would do a musical number. And perhaps I would pause. A fermata. A breath. A space. A suspended piece of time. Never a stop. Never waiting. Just breathing. And he would watch my form. My face, my belly, my breathing. Waiting for that indrawn breath. Wait with me in the moment. For that first movement of my lips.

To play again.

To perform with me.

And it aggravates me to see people being flippant about this.

When I transferred schools, I had other musicians in band come up to me and applaud me for being so nice. I was a good singer, but I was still so humble and bashful. And it just infuriates me that there are musicians. Proficient musicians. Out there. That think they aren't worth as much. Or that have resentment towards singers cause they can be such diva bitches.

You are not more important than your musicians. You are a musician. You are one of them. You aren't above them. Get the fuck off your high horse.

I am a musician like any other musician. Without my accompaniment I am not half as effective to an audience. I can sing a cappella and quite well. That doesn't mean I can perform a recital that way (well choir groups and stuff, but by myself? come on, we come from a society of harmony, accept it and move on). Accompanists make me more effective. Phenomenal accompaniment has made me better. Phenomenal accompaniment has made me sound much better than I am. I am more effective with accompaniment.

If you actually think you are better than your backup there is something wrong with you. When you go on stage you are putting on a show. And the support is just as important as the main event.

I do not deserve applause for being a decent fucking person. If you practice every day to get a piece right and have the history and the background to be good at what you do, how do you think your accompanist deserves any less? Do you think they practice less? Just because you're in the spotlight does not mean you automatically get to treat other people worse.

That's like thanking your waitress for a wonderful meal and ignoring the chef that fucking cooked it. Just because you're the one people see, doesn't mean you're the only one onstage.

I'm not saying accept bad treatment from bad musicians. You are generally paying for a service. And it sucks be a singer cause you're often paying for accompanists that other musicians don't have to. But you are paying for a service all the same. You deserve the respect.

But so do they.

Treat your musicians fairly.

(Y'know what, apply this to sound and lighting crew as well, those beautiful bastards never get kudos)

Reasons to Watch Yourself (Or The Reason I Possibly Should Have Tried More Than One Birth Control Instead of Just Taking What I Got)

So I have a story if you don't mind (of course you don't, why else are you here reading this? I don't know, go home, I'm in pain and rambling, no wait, come back I need snuggles, everything hurts and life is terrible, fuck you betraying womanly body someone bring me more tea).

*coughs*

Anyway, I had terrible acne as a kid, like the worst. Like I tried literally everything on the market: Oxypads, Avon, Proactiv (the most effective but still, bad), twenty different kinds of offbrand, anything I could find and try. I hated life, my skin was terrible, I'm a scratcher and popper too, like I cannot leave a zit alone. I will carve it out of my skin. I didn't want to wear tanktops, but I hated heat, so I walked around with back-acne and hating my life.

They finally put me on Acutane (which probably means my ovaries may or may not be healthy but I don't care to check, if I had the choice my ovaries would be donated to science, give them to some person that wants kids, seriously, you can have all of them).

But the first thing that helped was they put me on birth control. So I was on birth control since I was 14.

Now my childhood wasn't exactly fun. I didn't have too many friends and I was the scapegoat, c'est la vie. It sucks, I lived through it, I found awesome friends later.

But in high school I realized I stopped caring about the bullies, I also didn't study as much cause I stopped caring, and it was the reason I was teased so bad. Got some new friends though, things were good. But I wasn't as emotional as I was as a kid. I stopped crying at the drop of a pin. I stopped crying in general. Which considering I had spent 14-something years being tormented over my emotions, seemed like a pretty sweet deal to me. I figured I was becoming emotionally mature (ignoring some truly terrible emo poetry, but hey, bad poetry is sort of part-and-parcel with the whole teenager package).

I didn't really think too much on it.

And then in university a friend of mine mentioned the side effects birth control can have. The wrong kind for your body can make you lethargic, and deaden your senses, and things of that nature. Now I'm not saying birth control is a bad thing, fuck yeah sexual freedom. Just, there are a bajillion different types and doses for a *reason*. Some people just don't function well with the wrong kind. I was on a pretty low-dose, but that doesn't mean the type itself wouldn't have an effect.

So anyway, I had a "huh" moment. And since I'd never been sexually active, didn't plan on it in general, and my acne was better, I decided to try an experiment. I was about a month or so away from being out of BC anyway, so I decided to just not renew my prescription.

And well, things changed.

The most noticeable being I started getting period cramps, which I never had before, so that fucking sucked hard-fucking-core. Fuck fucking body-shredding pain. Mind you, not as bad as my sister's (hers was debilitating) and I sort of got to skip over teenage cramps which apparently tend to be worse. But yeah, cramps, not fun (it's actually what inspired this blogpost, they say the best writing comes from pain right? well then this should be fucking brilliant).

The other though? Emotions.

Like seriously, fucking emotions. You have no idea.

I actually cry now. Like things that are heartbreaking or hurtful to people, where before I was like "huh that's sad, sucky, moving on", now I cry. Truly powerful moments move me.

I don't know if you can understand this. It's like wandering around grey and relatively content, life is lived but not experienced, and then HOLY SHIT WHERE ARE THESE TEARS COMING FROM WHY DOES MY HEART FEEL JOY AND SADNESS NOW WHAT HAPPENED I R CONFUSE.

Which I mean, sometimes it sucks. Like a) the cramps, b) the crying. It's not necessarily always fun. Actually it kind of fucking sucks some days. While I feel happier over happy things I feel sadder over sad things. And when you spent 8-something years going through mostly content in your life, it's a serious fucking overhaul to have to actually start dealing with shit.

But here's another thing. I'm a bibliophile. A voracious reader. I just reread the Hunger Games and bawled like a baby. I was moved again. I was moved in a way I hadn't been since a child. I never stopped loving books, but I feel like I enjoy them more now. I'm also a musician. Music makes me feel more than it used to. I take in the things I experience and they affect me.

That's the thing though, it still is pretty scary. Not gonna lie the thought of going back to grey seems easier and safer. Maybe it is. But at the same time, I sobbed my face off watching RENT a couple weeks back and I felt wonderful after. So I suppose the personal decision for me is to keep slogging on.

It's absolutely terrifying, but it's also too beautiful to give up.

Thing is, it doesn't negatively affect me. People with true disorders, such as bipolar, that's also a choice they make, how functional can they be, do they want to give up the extreme low and also the high? Some function fine with medication, some don't. But that's still their decision. I add this, so that people don't think I'm making a bold statement of "medication is bad or good or whatever for you". Medication is there for a reason, for the people that need it. It's a decision you make to take it or not, but it can also affect you negatively. You have to be careful.

Just for me personally, I didn't realize it was a decision I had made. I didn't notice, I didn't know, I didn't understand. So I'm absolutely fascinated that a decision I made had such sideaffects.

So I guess I'm trying to say, watch your medication. Keep track of yourself and who you are, and how you change when you try new things. If you're a parent, watch your kid after you put them on a medication. Even if it's something small, something that seems harmless. Watch yourself and watch others.

I went on Acutane and they told my mum, who told my friends, "monitor her for any serious emotional changes". They never told me that about birth control. And there are so many different kinds maybe there's one out there that wouldn't affect me the same way. I don't know since I don't need it again yet. But it's something I know now to check.

So yes, my advice for the day. Watch yourself, know yourself. You can choose to take or not take medication. It's not a weakness to make either decision. It may not be the right decision, you may need the medication, but it is still your choice. You understand you.

But if a medication works, you should be a more functional person, not less. So just, be careful okay?

And never feel ashamed to ask a friend for help.

But for one random conversation, I would still be a very grey person. And for the most part I'm happier this way.

(Though seriously, fuck these fucking cramps).

Job Hunting And How I'm Not Slowing Pulling My Hair Out (Well No, I Am, But Not As Much)

So I'm writing this with the knowledge that it's entirely my own experience, so take this with a grain of salt. This is mostly directed towards those of us doing online job-searching. Which is likely all of us now.

First things first, if you need help read this. Yes, it's long, no, it's not mine, but it's damn good advice. And the "setting limits" thing seriously helped me. And the Cover Letter help. Cause good goddamn I hate Cover Letters. I'm fabulous at writing them. I hate writing them.

So I'm mostly online searching, which can be a bitch. Because the second you get on your computer, there's Facebook, there's Tumblr (oh god Tumblr), you go to research something and get dragged into something else. It's like paper writing that ends in Wikiwandering. You're going to inevitably get distracted.


Tip 1: Stay hydrated.

No seriously. Generally when you're on a computer you ignore most regular habits like eating or drinking. I'll say eat something as well, so long as it's not distracted eating where you eat a bag of chips (unless you want to, go ahead and eat that entire bag of doritoes if it makes you feel better about having to slog through this, you've earned it).

But if you aren't hydrated you'll get lethargic, and your head will hurt, and your eyes will hurt. And dehydration just sucks okay? And it's definitely not fun if you're trying to concentrate. Try to stay away from coffee and juices and anything likely to make your jittery. Water is probably your best bet. I drink enough tea to drown a small child.

Keep a water bottle by your computer, mine has a straw. I find myself distractedly drinking from it frequently. It's sort of like that distracted eating thing. Only it's pretty hard to drink too much water if you're using a standard water bottle.

Plus the constant pee breaks will give your brain a rest from the searching.

Tip 2: Get dressed.

Why does my advice sound so weird? Cause it is. But look. Even though you're on your computer, no one is going to see you, it's sort of a psychological thing. You've had a shower, your hair is done, you have clothes on, it's like you're going out to tackle the day, even though you're staying inside.

Staying in my pjs makes me feel like relaxing, watching a couple movies, generally lazing about. Getting dressed makes me feel I'm going to do something and I'm more likely to be productive.

I'd also suggest having clean clothes if you can. But that's not always possible. But man, pulling on a pair of jeans you know you haven't worn six ways to Sunday yet? It's a nice feeling. Sometimes I wear heels at my desk if I want to feel significantly badass.

Tip 3: Keep your space clean.

Wait, you're job hunting and now you have to clean? No. No you don't. But if you're anything like me, you're going to get distracted by the mess. Like why are those papers strewn everywhere? How long has that mug been there? Why isn't your nail file back in the bathroom where you won't lose it again?

*twitch twitch*

Look, I know your parents said "clean, don't sweep it under the bed", but if that's what you have to do temporarily to keep yourself from staring at that one lone goddamn sock by your hamper and where is it's match and why can't you find it?... Then yeah. I have a paper/pen/stuff drawer. I've thrown most everything in there and the rest in a box or closet and then shut it. Makes me less twitchy, and if my room is actually (welllll, sort of, but look, why were closets given doors then?) clean? Hell I can accomplish anything.

Tip 4: Reset your bloody homepage.

This may not be applicable to all of you, but t'hell if most of you don't need this tip. I needed this tip. You don't have to set your homepage to a job site or something. That's too guilt-inducing for me. But at least freaking Google or something. If you want to job search the worst thing to happen is opening a page and all of a sudden, BAM, Tumblr (oh Tumblr), Facebook, Youtube, what-have-you. Friends and stories and videos and doge and, and, and... And I just spent four hours (if I'm lucky) not job hunting. Fuck.


So, that's all I can think of for the most part, but I'll leave you with a bit of advice a good friend gave me years ago to help with the whole resume thing:

It is not cocky if you are as good as you say you are.

Seriously guys, don't sell yourself short. No qualification is too minor if it's job applicable. Even if it's personal. If you spend a lot of time online, you're probably good at multitasking, or have learned stuff through Wiki, Tumblr (oh for fucks sake Tumblr go away T_T), fanfiction, etc. You're an information gatherer. You are so s-m-r-t (that's a garbled Simpsons quote, not a typo).

If you feel you're talking yourself up on a resume? Good. If you have the knowledge to back up your boasting, it's not boasting. Don't feel like your job experience is less than it is. And don't feel like you're being too cocky. The point of your resume is to show an employer you're awesome. And you are. So say so on your resume.

Don't exaggerate mind you. But if you helped at home with yardwork? That means you have groundskeeping skills. Which means someone trusted you with mechanical equipment. Which means you're trustworthy and smart enough to have not lost your foot or something (if you have lost your foot though I'm very sorry, lawnmowers are terrifying beasts and serious accidents can occur, seriously, here have a cookie, I am so so sorry).


So yeah, four tips and a ramble! Ima make myself a sammich, grab some more water, and sob over Cover Letters over here in the corner okay? But I will look damn fabulous doing it in my skinny jeans and fitted sweater.

And I guess go job hunting instead of blogging, but where's the fun in that?

My ideas on Happy Holidays (Or How I'm Probably Going To Piss People Off With This One)

So I had someone ask why I say "Happy Holidays" if I'm in the mindset of "take the gesture as it's meant". And I had to explain, well A) I've worked so many bloody public/customer service jobs I just got in the habit. Specifically when I worked at my uni's library and my uni was hugely multi-cultural. Most of the funding came from international students, so 60-70% of the people I saw, were not from Canada and not Christian. Also I have a entire group of friends that are Pagan, so I just got used to it.

B) Just because I'll take the phrase in the spirit as it's meant, doesn't mean I won't make a pointed effort to be inclusive. Not everyone celebrates Christmas, myself not being a Christian (my family is, I fell out a while back and just stick with Agnostic for those needing a definition) I feel a bit awkward saying "Merry Christmas".

I love celebrating all holidays with everyone. Celebrating others holidays is always fun and a great way to understand other's cultures/beliefs. However, I don't fault whatever holiday you say so long as you mean to wish me well. I just personally make an attempt to be all-encompassing in my well-wishes.

C) I don't know. I just feel awkward about it. While I understand everyone celebrates their own holiday, at the same time, Christmas is this huge holiday that has spread almost everywhere. We have public mandated holidays for a holiday that, well, not everyone celebrates.

I feel bad for those people that don't celebrate Christmas, but have this vacation based around a holiday/religion they're not a part of. They see big displays of it. They hear music about it (and lemme tell you, for someone not Christian or even very spiritual, most "holiday" music is awkward). From the time Thanksgiving/Halloween is over (in whichever respective country you live in), all you see/hear is Christmas. Christmas Christmas Christmas.

And it's not everyone's holiday. The idea behind Christmas is a wonderful one, don't get me wrong. Giving and well-wishes and seriously awesome food. Not a bad idea. Just, the whole thing is so commercialized, and pushy.

I wonder about other people who aren't Christian. Who's entire environment is now set up for a holiday they don't celebrate. Their workplace will also summarily be invaded. Their only freedom their house. Unless they turn on the TV or radio. Or unless you're like me and you're family is Christian. My thing is, I may not be that religious but I freakin love Christmas and giving my family gifts. Which is a bit odd because I'm actively celebrating a holiday with my family that is based around a religion I no longer follow, but c'est la vie.

But it's why it bothers me so much, these people that get up in arms about the phrase "Happy Holidays". While I understand it is "Christmas", you're basically telling these people that are forced to include your holiday into their lives, that they also have to use your terminology?

I'm sorry but I don't think that's fair.

Yes, it's considered a Christian holiday. But that just further emphasizes the point of how exclusive our calendar is. How many people celebrating Hanukkah get to have the week off? Or even a day. For crying out loud it's at the end of November this year. They don't get a holiday. They get finals. Or just work.

These people that are bitching about "Happy Holidays" just come off as privileged jerks to me.

However, I don't deny you your right to say Merry Christmas.

If you honestly and truly intend to wish me a Merry Christmas, you're wishing me a time of love and caring and joy. And I will 100% fully take that sentiment and keep it warm in my heart. I appreciate it.

The idea behind Christmas is a wonderful one. Kindness and gifts to those you love and family. Just, if you're getting pissy about someone saying Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas. Maybe consider first why this person would say Happy Holidays. In my case, I worked public service and it was my job to be inclusive. In some cases, maybe the person isn't Christian, what a concept.

But I'm sorry, when your holiday is the only one that matters in the eyes of major businesses, when your holiday invades every nook, cranny, and inch of everything, everywhere, to the point where you can't escape it, it's not fair for you to get pissy about terminology.

Your entire holiday is based on good will towards men. Maybe show it?

Relationships and Cakes (and Not Cakes)

So in thinking about relationships, I’ve realized the problem some people have:

They’re thinking about relationships like a recipe.

See to them, there’s this sense of success with a relationship. There’s a checklist. If you have A and then you get B and finally hit C boom, you have a successful relationship.

So what they’re doing is spending their lives accumulating the perfect ingredients and at the end of it, finally, they will have a perfect cake.

And it’s only their cake that is perfect.

And that’s the problem.

What if I want to use almond milk? What about egg substitute? Chocolate instead of vanilla?

Well then to them it’s not a proper cake. It’s not a worthwhile cake. It’s less somehow.

And that’s the problem.

My cake is no less of a cake for not having used your recipe. My cake is still a perfectly serviceable cake. And to me, maybe I like my recipe better. I’m not saying your cake is bad, but I have my own recipe and it’s tried and true and perfected. Or maybe it isn’t, but I can experiment right? It’s my bloody cake, you’re not eating it anyway, so get out of my kitchen.

And maybe I’ve only got a couple ingredients and I make a smaller cake, it’s not any less tasty than yours. Maybe I don’t want to wait as long for cake. I have enough to make a small cake and I’ll take that small cake now, thank you. Instead of waiting around until I have all the right stuff for a bigger “proper” cake. Maybe I won’t get the chance to have that bigger “proper” cake. Maybe this little cake is all I’ll get, so I’ll enjoy it now while I have the time.

And maybe I don’t want cake! Maybe I want cupcakes! Maybe I like cupcakes better because there are more of them and they can be individualized! Maybe I want one cupcake with chocolate icing right now, but I might want buttercream icing later. And what if I’m just not a cake person? Maybe I want brownies!

And that’s how I see relationships. Not everyone wants your cake. Not everyone is coveting your cake. Your cake is not the perfect cake. It might be perfect for you, but not for me.

Maybe I have my own recipe. Maybe I want cupcakes. Maybe I want brownies.

Maybe I don’t even like sweets.

It doesn’t matter.

It’s my goddamn kitchen.

Stay out of my kitchen.

And stay out of my relationship(s).

Taxes (AKA I Have Serious Feels About Public Education And I'm Not Really Sorry)

Taxes bother me. Not the doing them part (well no, that too), just, they don’t teach you how to do them.

Seriously, you take an average kid that hates math and force them to learn it, and really, beyond your basic math skills, no kid needs it. No kid unless they become a mathematician or a physicist or what-have-you needs math. And if they want to become these things? If they truly love math? They’ll take the courses. I took music for crying out loud and art. And those weren’t deemed ‘necessary’.

But we force kids to take courses they don’t like and don’t need.

But we don’t teach them how to do taxes.

I mean, seriously, taxes are this ridiculous, necessary evil of life and the whole goddamn world is like “Figure it out yourself. Oh you can’t? Well since you effed up, we’re just gonna take money from you for your mistake. I mean, how could you mess up filling out something WE NEVER TAUGHT YOU HOW TO FILL OUT? HAHAHA!”

You know who taught me how to do taxes? My mum. You know who taught me about girly things and how they do and don’t work? My sister and best friend. You know who taught me about how to make a resume and *actually* find a job and get an apartment and all these life things I needed to know? People and the internet. You know what didn’t? Public school.

You wonder why kids don’t want to sit in a desk learning a bunch of crap they don’t need when they’re well aware that absolutely everything they need to know in life they’re either going to learn from a random person in their life or the internet.

Somewhere down the line, a kid is going to be plunked down in front of a stack of papers they absolutely, 100%, *need* to fill out, and will continue having to fill out for the rest of their working lives, and they will have no fucking clue how to fill these forms out. But if they fill them out wrong, the government can take their money, or even put them in jail.

But who cares since you’re teaching them how to play Where’s Waldo with ‘x’ and ‘y’ graphs?