So I've been muddling with the idea of a musical. Here, have some song lyrics.

It's based on preconceptions and it's meant to be a comedy

Being A Blonde

Iiiii am the girl with golden hair

It tends to fly everywhere

But I don’t care

For iiiiin it’s beauty and it’s radiance

It gives me a confidence

I’d like to share

It’s briiighter than any gold

And as well I’ve been told

It could outshine the sun

So whyyyy

Because of my hue do all of you

Continue to insist I can’t resist

That cause of my hair that’s everywhere

I must. Be. Dumb?

I mean really

Is that all you see

When you look at me?

Can it be?

I mean really

Does it matter so

That my hair’s aglow?

Don’t you know?

Just because my hair shines with a wondrous golden light

Doesn’t mean that in my head I’m not very bright

Just because my hair is a particular shade or hue it

Doesn’t mean the rest of me is particularly stupid

I’ve got the grades to prove it

I suppose it doesn’t change it

I can’t really rearrange it

What you think and say

I suppose I could talk and talk and talk

Until I’m blue and you’d just walk away

So I suppose until I go and dyyye my hair

You’ll keep thinking that there’s just a peanut in there

Being Redhead

 

Because of my head
I must stay in bed
For if I should leave
I would get teased
And mocked at
And laughed at
And beaten

I must have no soul
I must be so cold
For it must be
I have no fee-
Lings at all
Not an ounce
So I get trounced

I’m a red-head
So they hit me
Til I’m senseless
Cause it’s funny
Well it’s not!

Kick a ginger
Watch her crying
Try it mister
Cause we’re not buying
It

She must be faking it
She has to be faking it
Cause she’s just cold
Cause she has no soul
So it can’t hurt at all
Here watch her fall

Again

Being Brunette

I’m a brunette
And I’m pretty
I’m a brunette
And I’m witty

So guess what?

I’m a slut

I’m a brunette
And I’m kind
I’m a brunette
And I speak my mind

So you know what?
I’m a slut

I can’t just be nice
I can’t just be sweet
In a paradise
Oh it would be neat

If I wasn’t a whore
Because of my col“ore”

No matter how many no’s
No matter how many but’s
As far as it goes
I must be a slut

Can’t have guy friends
I must be doing em
Can’t have girl friends
I must *want* to be doing em

...Or I *am* doing em

I can’t deny it
No ifs, ands or buts
They’ll say I’m lying
Cause I’m just a slut

Being Gay (unfinished)

Hey I’m gay!

Watch me be fey!

Utterly fab and a-ok!

Have to be grand!

Can’t be who I am…

I don’t like sparkles,

I don’t like flounce,

don’t wanna prance,

don’t wanna bounce!

‘Tween grey and pink,

sure, I’d choose the latter,

but why does it matter?

Just cause I like dudes,

I have to choose

between ratty jeans

and high-top shoes?