Issues With "Gender Expression"

I've been getting into interesting debates, well not debates per se, discussions more, as of late regarding gender, identity and the variations thereof. 

Getting into a discussion involving the latest most-popular "Native sayings" photos to spam the feed-market (I quote-mark for not just scepticism on my part but the sheer number of these photos that have either been misquoted or entirely made up), I got into a discussion involving the term "two-spirited" which I was originally led to believe meant "one that is both male and female/performs both male and female roles". Which is not entirely true apparently. It's not an inaccurate definition necessarily, but two-spirited is apparently meant more as a broad-based term for a fluid sexuality. One that is not entirely male or female or fits into those specific solitary roles.

That's not really relevant to the point I want to make but anyway, it got me thinking. Someone that performs a masculine and feminine role...

It's interesting for me, because I have feminine traits but am also masculine in ways. I still define myself as a woman though. So there's a part of me that finds it kind of funny that we've to created these specific depictions for how a certain gender is supposed to act and then call it abnormal if someone is female but "acts like a male/is butch" or a man "acts like a woman/is femme". I mostly think, how about we all act not masculine or feminine, but just like a different, special person and keep the boxes that determine fe/maleness out of it?

Why exactly if someone defines as a woman but works construction and has short hair, she's butch? Or she's trying to be a man. If a woman defines herself as a woman, then she is one. That's it. It doesn't matter if she wears baggy clothes, or ballcaps, or works physically demanding jobs, or is even short-tempered, or strong-willed, she's still a woman. Just like a man that is soft-spoken, who likes roses, and rom-coms, and works in a hair salon, is still a man, if that is what he defines as.

And how sad is it exactly that I'm forced to relay the extreme sides as though they should be so strikingly odd?

Why do we have gender labels and definitions? Why can't a woman wear perfume but like working out? Why can't a man like boxing but also flowers? Why have we crammed ourselves into these tiny little gender boxes and live our lives in fear of trying something new, something we could be really good at even, for fear of breaking the societal norm of what "feminine" or "masculine" is? Fuck the words "feminine" and "masculine". We're goddamn people. We are women, or men, or neither, or both, or whatever. We're whatever the fuck we want to be, no matter what our actions are.

We shouldn't have to be afraid of expressing a part of us, for fear of being labelled a "butch" or a "femme" or a "fag". If I say I'm a woman, I'm a goddamn woman. If I say I'm a man, I'm a goddamn man. If I say I'm neither, I'm neither. If I say I'm both I'm both. My "gender expression" should have nothing to do with my "gender identity" and that we have a term "gender expression" actually bothers me just a bit.

And I return back to that thought "one that performs male and female roles"

Well that's my problem isn't it? Male and female roles. What are those exactly? Men in the field, women in the kitchen? What is the definition of a male and a female role and aren't they constantly changing? As we broaden our definitions of "male and female roles" I wonder: are the terms "masculine" and "feminine" truly useful anymore? They don't describe a person's identity, they describe their expression. And considering some people's idea of a female role is to be in the kitchen, any man that cooks is no longer "masculine". Any woman that works construction is no longer "feminine". And the ideas of the two would change depending on each particular person's idea of a gender role.

Honestly, I don't think there are many people anymore that are not both "masculine" and "feminine" in ways. Feminine is used to describe an action that is seen as being female, masculine an action that is seen as being male. But men wear makeup and it doesn't make them women (actors anyone?) and women in some cultures now wear jeans and that definitely didn't make them men. Which just makes us all people doesn't it?

Which makes the words rather unnecessary. To try and actually honestly label us under two words, masculine or feminine is bloody ridiculous. Depending on your perception, we can all show tendencies of both.

Really, our identity is what we say it is and our expression has nothing to do with it.

(So long as we keep within the human spectrum. I'm sorry, but if you say you're a flying purple space monkey, that's still highly unlikely to be true, no matter how much you wish you were.)