Issues With "Gender Expression"

I've been getting into interesting debates, well not debates per se, discussions more, as of late regarding gender, identity and the variations thereof. 

Getting into a discussion involving the latest most-popular "Native sayings" photos to spam the feed-market (I quote-mark for not just scepticism on my part but the sheer number of these photos that have either been misquoted or entirely made up), I got into a discussion involving the term "two-spirited" which I was originally led to believe meant "one that is both male and female/performs both male and female roles". Which is not entirely true apparently. It's not an inaccurate definition necessarily, but two-spirited is apparently meant more as a broad-based term for a fluid sexuality. One that is not entirely male or female or fits into those specific solitary roles.

That's not really relevant to the point I want to make but anyway, it got me thinking. Someone that performs a masculine and feminine role...

It's interesting for me, because I have feminine traits but am also masculine in ways. I still define myself as a woman though. So there's a part of me that finds it kind of funny that we've to created these specific depictions for how a certain gender is supposed to act and then call it abnormal if someone is female but "acts like a male/is butch" or a man "acts like a woman/is femme". I mostly think, how about we all act not masculine or feminine, but just like a different, special person and keep the boxes that determine fe/maleness out of it?

Why exactly if someone defines as a woman but works construction and has short hair, she's butch? Or she's trying to be a man. If a woman defines herself as a woman, then she is one. That's it. It doesn't matter if she wears baggy clothes, or ballcaps, or works physically demanding jobs, or is even short-tempered, or strong-willed, she's still a woman. Just like a man that is soft-spoken, who likes roses, and rom-coms, and works in a hair salon, is still a man, if that is what he defines as.

And how sad is it exactly that I'm forced to relay the extreme sides as though they should be so strikingly odd?

Why do we have gender labels and definitions? Why can't a woman wear perfume but like working out? Why can't a man like boxing but also flowers? Why have we crammed ourselves into these tiny little gender boxes and live our lives in fear of trying something new, something we could be really good at even, for fear of breaking the societal norm of what "feminine" or "masculine" is? Fuck the words "feminine" and "masculine". We're goddamn people. We are women, or men, or neither, or both, or whatever. We're whatever the fuck we want to be, no matter what our actions are.

We shouldn't have to be afraid of expressing a part of us, for fear of being labelled a "butch" or a "femme" or a "fag". If I say I'm a woman, I'm a goddamn woman. If I say I'm a man, I'm a goddamn man. If I say I'm neither, I'm neither. If I say I'm both I'm both. My "gender expression" should have nothing to do with my "gender identity" and that we have a term "gender expression" actually bothers me just a bit.

And I return back to that thought "one that performs male and female roles"

Well that's my problem isn't it? Male and female roles. What are those exactly? Men in the field, women in the kitchen? What is the definition of a male and a female role and aren't they constantly changing? As we broaden our definitions of "male and female roles" I wonder: are the terms "masculine" and "feminine" truly useful anymore? They don't describe a person's identity, they describe their expression. And considering some people's idea of a female role is to be in the kitchen, any man that cooks is no longer "masculine". Any woman that works construction is no longer "feminine". And the ideas of the two would change depending on each particular person's idea of a gender role.

Honestly, I don't think there are many people anymore that are not both "masculine" and "feminine" in ways. Feminine is used to describe an action that is seen as being female, masculine an action that is seen as being male. But men wear makeup and it doesn't make them women (actors anyone?) and women in some cultures now wear jeans and that definitely didn't make them men. Which just makes us all people doesn't it?

Which makes the words rather unnecessary. To try and actually honestly label us under two words, masculine or feminine is bloody ridiculous. Depending on your perception, we can all show tendencies of both.

Really, our identity is what we say it is and our expression has nothing to do with it.

(So long as we keep within the human spectrum. I'm sorry, but if you say you're a flying purple space monkey, that's still highly unlikely to be true, no matter how much you wish you were.)

Hi, I'm bi

Hi I’m bi:

You’re wondering why?

Well I like girls and I like guys
It’s not just something I wanted to *try*
And it’s definitely not me living a lie

If there’s someone cute I spy
Then I might give them the eye

No matter the gender if I think they’ll reply
If I don’t play shy (but I’ll probably play shy)

And it’s not a phase by the by
I’m not straight and haven’t met the right guy
I’m not gay and won’t let my rainbow flag fly

You *can* like both genders (or all or none) fyi
And your ignorance just makes me want to cry

I don’t agree with what you’re trying to imply
It’s my rage that keeps me tongue-tied

So if you think to vie
What I choose to live by
Who are you to ask who am I?

I am a friend and I am an ally
Your expectations I will defy
I’m open-minded, sweet as pie (though sometimes wry)
And no matter my choices I will testify
I will not deny

I. Am. Bi.

So I've been muddling with the idea of a musical. Here, have some song lyrics.

It's based on preconceptions and it's meant to be a comedy

Being A Blonde

Iiiii am the girl with golden hair

It tends to fly everywhere

But I don’t care

For iiiiin it’s beauty and it’s radiance

It gives me a confidence

I’d like to share

It’s briiighter than any gold

And as well I’ve been told

It could outshine the sun

So whyyyy

Because of my hue do all of you

Continue to insist I can’t resist

That cause of my hair that’s everywhere

I must. Be. Dumb?

I mean really

Is that all you see

When you look at me?

Can it be?

I mean really

Does it matter so

That my hair’s aglow?

Don’t you know?

Just because my hair shines with a wondrous golden light

Doesn’t mean that in my head I’m not very bright

Just because my hair is a particular shade or hue it

Doesn’t mean the rest of me is particularly stupid

I’ve got the grades to prove it

I suppose it doesn’t change it

I can’t really rearrange it

What you think and say

I suppose I could talk and talk and talk

Until I’m blue and you’d just walk away

So I suppose until I go and dyyye my hair

You’ll keep thinking that there’s just a peanut in there

Being Redhead

 

Because of my head
I must stay in bed
For if I should leave
I would get teased
And mocked at
And laughed at
And beaten

I must have no soul
I must be so cold
For it must be
I have no fee-
Lings at all
Not an ounce
So I get trounced

I’m a red-head
So they hit me
Til I’m senseless
Cause it’s funny
Well it’s not!

Kick a ginger
Watch her crying
Try it mister
Cause we’re not buying
It

She must be faking it
She has to be faking it
Cause she’s just cold
Cause she has no soul
So it can’t hurt at all
Here watch her fall

Again

Being Brunette

I’m a brunette
And I’m pretty
I’m a brunette
And I’m witty

So guess what?

I’m a slut

I’m a brunette
And I’m kind
I’m a brunette
And I speak my mind

So you know what?
I’m a slut

I can’t just be nice
I can’t just be sweet
In a paradise
Oh it would be neat

If I wasn’t a whore
Because of my col“ore”

No matter how many no’s
No matter how many but’s
As far as it goes
I must be a slut

Can’t have guy friends
I must be doing em
Can’t have girl friends
I must *want* to be doing em

...Or I *am* doing em

I can’t deny it
No ifs, ands or buts
They’ll say I’m lying
Cause I’m just a slut

Being Gay (unfinished)

Hey I’m gay!

Watch me be fey!

Utterly fab and a-ok!

Have to be grand!

Can’t be who I am…

I don’t like sparkles,

I don’t like flounce,

don’t wanna prance,

don’t wanna bounce!

‘Tween grey and pink,

sure, I’d choose the latter,

but why does it matter?

Just cause I like dudes,

I have to choose

between ratty jeans

and high-top shoes?