Acceptance

So in the spirit of keeping with my ranting of relationships, I’ve another.

This time based on judgement. I don’t have much of an argument, I don’t have much to contribute but this is my thoughts.

I am bisexual. This does not mean that I cannot make up my mind. This does not mean that I am confused. This does not, in any way, reflect on my sorry state of previous relationships. There is no correlation between my previous relationships or my declared state of bisexuality.

I am bisexual. I find girls equally as (if not more) attractive as guys. I find handsomeness in femininity and beauty in masculinity.

Have I ever dated a boy? Yes, I have. I’m currently in a budding relationship. Have I ever dated a girl? No.

This is not for lack of trying or want. I just have never come across an opportunity.

Have I ever had sex with a boy or girl? No. Does that mean I’m asexual? No. If you’re a virgin, does that mean you’re asexual? Does it mean you’re not attracted to others if you’ve never had sex? No. So then why is my attraction judged on my past experience?

Now I have been asked, how am I sure I like girls? Maybe I just like boys and am in that “curious” stage. After all, all I’ve ever done is kiss a girl; I’ve never had a sexual experience with one. I can’t be sure. How am I sure I like girls if all I’ve ever experienced is one kiss? How can I be sure if I’ve never been in a lesbian situation?

Well, then ask yourself, how are you so sure you like the opposite sex? How are you sure you like anyone at all? If the entirety of our attraction is based on sexual experience, that means that no one is attracted to anyone until they’ve experienced something sexual. Which is complete and utter bullshit. If that was the case, then the teenage masturbation that so many parents are concerned about wouldn’t exist.

Now I have been talked down to, I have been criticised, I have been ostracised and studied. As if “being on the fence” is a problem.

Someone explain to me the logic of a world where homosexuality is sometimes more accepted than bisexuality. If I said I was just lesbian, would I have it easier? Likely not, I would still get criticism, I would be judged. However, I would be judged by those who are unaccepting of homosexuality. I have found that while I am not fully accepted in the heterosexual circles, I am not accepted in the homosexual circles either. Simply because I cannot decide.

Explain to me how that is fair. How I cannot be accepted for my decision and beliefs. How instead I’m seen as someone who simply cannot “make up their mind”. As though attraction is a choice. As if who you lust for, love for, is something you can change. Tell a homosexual that they’re just “confused” that they have to change their thinking, that they have to pick the right gender. Now tell me that I, as a bisexual, am “confused, that I have to change my thinking and simply (ha!) pick a gender.

I almost wish I was just confused. That I wasn’t sure. Perhaps the ignorance would be simpler.


Listening to: 'I Want To Hold Your Hand' - T.V. Carpio's cover of The Beatles