I love my friends, hence I love Facebook. I love being interconnected with people in society. Though I have to say one of the things I love the most is what my friends post. I have two friends that post links to sites, articles and blogs and it's fantastic.
Today though was a rather "hit-it-where-it-hurts" kind of day for linking: 2 Rutgers Freshman Charges For Secretly Making Sex Tape of Another Student, Who Then Committed Suicide
Listening to the news cast doesn't give you much to go on. There's a lot of supposition and uncertainty, mainly because the family doesn't comment (which considering they just lost a family member isn't surprising). Looking up some other articles leads to more definite findings. LGBT Rutgers Freshman Kills Self After Classmates Use Hidden Camera To Watch His Sexual Activity
So, I don't use Twitter but I do use Facebook a lot. As previously stated I love being interconnected with people, though it does have it's downsides. Say I go to a party, at said party I dance with someone, or kiss them. Someone takes a photo. They post it on Facebook. I now have fifty people asking if I have a boy/girlfriend now. There's a serious lack of privacy these days.
"Roommate asked for the room till midnight, I went into Molly's room and turned on my webcam. I saw him making out with a dude. Yay."
I'm sorry, did he tweet that he turned on his webcam and watched his roommate? Excuse me? Where the hell does this kid get off thinking that he can spy on his roommate (or anyone for that matter) with a webcam? And it gets worse. "The pair used the hidden dorm room camera to stream their fellow student's sex session, officials said." So not only were they watching, they were streaming it. This person privacy was invaded, not just by his roommates, but by hundreds of other people. Sit for a minute and think about how you would feel if you and your significant other were making out or having sex and somewhere, other people were watching all of it: friends, enemies, peers. Then imagine going to school the next day.
Another reason I love my friends is we actually talk about these things. It's not just someone mentions it because they want to look well-informed and like they care. We'll argue and firmly state our ideas. I find myself wrong a lot, which I will admit bothers me but it does mean I come out of the conversation a more-enlightened person.
Today's conversation was mostly just us reeling in disbelief at society. One of my friends mentioned "if there's been an increase in suicides or if it's just being reported more now that bullying is being made more of an issue in the media".
I personally think the increasing reports of suicides might be just because it's a new year. People who are different, who are new to the school or just getting into high school, will find the bullying to be harder when school's just starting. It may not even be any worse, but after a summer of freedom going back to the same horrible monotonous routine is rough.
I'm not speaking from anything other than personal experience, but bullying always seems worse the first few weeks of school (even if it's not) and then it settles down (re: you get used to it). So for those few weeks it's harder than usual to remind yourself to keep going. So there's more suicides around the start of school just as there's more suicides near major holidays.
Though I will say it may very well be that the media is considering bullying more of an issue. Media has been getting pretty good about that.
My friend also mentions that he "really [hates] the "It Gets Better" campaign. It really feels like they're saying "Bullying happens, deal with it" in a nicer way. I understand that the spirit behind it is supposed to be a positive one, to try to give kids going through it some motivation, but it really feels like they're accepting it as something that isn't going to change".
And I have to agree with him on this point. I'm not a big fan of the "It Gets Better" campaign either. It Gets Better: Dan and Terry. While I don't disagree that it does get better, no kid should have to be told to live with bullying until you get older. The main idea is that while public school and high school is tough, the kids should learn to live with it.
That I don't agree with. No child should be told to live with it. No child should be told that being harassed, that being hit and hurt with fists and words is a daily thing and they should get used to it.
Would you tell a child being abused by a family member or friend to "tough it out"? No. So why is bullying different? And why does it seem to be specifically gay bullying? Because I remember public school and I remember being told bullying was wrong. That was it. Bullying is wrong. It's not gender/sexual-specific people. It's not right for people to expect anyone to live with bullying, it's not right for anyone to *be* bullied.
There are consequences. Yes, this does happen. The one stray comment you make about a friend "oh he was acting so gay" could lead to a loss of life later on. An extreme theory? Maybe. Apparently not though. Go on google and look up how many people, children, teenagers and adults alike, kill themselves for being bullied. Not just homosexual bullying, just bullying. I will bet you it all started from one stupid stray comment.
A woman repeated a bit of gossip about a neighbour.
Within a few days the whole community knew the story. The person it concerned was deeply hurt and offended. Later, the woman responsible for spreading the rumour learned that it was completely untrue. She was very sorry and went to a wise old sage to find out what she could do to repair the damage.
"Go to the marketplace," he said, "Purchase a bag of feathers". Then on your way home, drop them one by one along the road." Although surprised by this advice, the woman did what she was told.
The next day the wise man said, "Now, go and collect all those feathers you dropped yesterday and bring them back to me."
The woman followed the same road, but to her dismay the wind had blown all the feathers away. After searching for hours, she returned with only three feathers in her hand.
"You see," said the old sage, "It's easy to drop them, but it is impossible to get them back.
So it is with gossip.
It doesn't take much to spread a rumour, but once you do you can never completely undo the wrong.
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