I find myself with regrets on a fairly frequent basis. I'm sure most people do. However, I would like to state something.
If you truly believe what you say, don't regret saying it.
If you truly believe what you've done is right, don't regret doing it.
If you truly, honestly and whole-heartedly believe in something and then later discover new information, something that makes you think differently, something that makes you change your mind. Guess what? You're allowed.
Don't regret changing your mind. Everyone does.
Don't regret saying you'll do something and then later discover you don't have the time. Everyone is busy.
Don't regret speaking your mind. Even if it leads to an argument, it means that you're making people think about their feelings.
Accept that sometimes you will never be able to change someone's mind. People will not always hear you and the lightbulb will not always flick on.
Accept that people will not always say "I understand now! And I accept your opinion."
Accept that people will not always accept your opinion.
Accept that you will not always accept someone else's opinion. However, try to do so.
If someone will not accept you, then let them go. No matter how good a friend is, they aren't worth the effort if they won't take you as you are.
If someone makes you feel bad about yourself for your opinion, let them go. Not everyone is as good a person as you think they are.
Accept that people are different. Due to beliefs, opinions, preconceived notions, past history, whatever... No one will ever think the same way as you do and therefore will never completely understand you unless they've experienced the same things you have. Sometimes, they will have experienced these things, but handled them differently. It happens. Everyone deals with things differently.
Accept that someone will know what you're talking about but still might not understand.
Accept that people may dislike you or even hate you for who you are. You can't change the world. You can try your damndest but there will likely always be someone who believes you aren't good enough.
Believe you're good enough.
Believe in yourself. Always. Don't doubt yourself. Or doubt, but do so knowing that this doubt is because of a new insight, or a different opinion, not just because someone says "you're wrong".
When the world says your wrong, sometimes they instead, will be wrong.
Accept that sometime you will be wrong. Though don't regret being wrong. People are wrong all the time. If you believe something and someone says you're wrong and proves it? Then accept this and move on.
Fight for what you believe in but accept defeat graciously.
Accept yourself. Believe in yourself. Accept *and* believe in yourself. You are your own special unique self. Don't change because someone tells you too. Change because change means growth.
Accept that all these things are a helluva lot easier said than done.
Not everyone will believe in you. Some will belittle you because you are different. Revel in this difference and *believe in yourself*.
You know yourself the best after all. Who better to accept all of you then the one who knows you best?
*Believe in yourself*!
And try your absolute best not to regret.
...Accept sometimes that you will regret but still try. You'd be surprised what you can do if you will only try.
Listening to: 'Confidence' - Elvis
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Being Poor (Or Not, But It Doesn't Matter Anyways)
So a friend of mine linked this on her facebook: Being Poor And it got me thinking, I'm pretty damn lucky.
Not that I'm not already aware of this, but a reminder is always a good thing. So let me elaborate:
People in this article were commenting some of their own experiences with being poor, my friend being one of them.
Now I have to admit, I don't think I've ever been truly poor, but it got me thinking, and I have a few additions, even if they aren't nearly as bad as some others.
Being not-quite-so-poor is hoping you can find a plastic bag in your house so that when you go to the food bank, you don't have to use the paper ones and have your friends tell you "You don't need to use the food bank! It's for people that need it! You have a job. You use the food bank? Why?" yet again and making you feel ashamed and embarrassed, like you're taking food from other people's mouths that must be more needy than you.
Though I will admit: Being not-quite-so-poor is a friend who maxes her credit card on things she doesn't need and then says you have so much money just because you were able to get groceries.
The problem with just skimming the edge of poor is that people make you feel horribly guilty when you use a service for the needy just so that maybe this month you can buy a decent set of shoes, or hairbrush, or just even some ice cream. Because then you feel as though, well, if I can afford to splurge on this I can't be that bad. Why am I still using the service? I'm stealing from other people! Even though you've eaten cheap pasta all this week.
So, if you're wondering why I still use a food bank? Here's my reason.
Being not-quite-so-poor is knowing you have money but feeling horrible any time you spend any of it, because you didn't have money before and now you owe your *step*father your entire residence fee. And wishing you could pay him back... You just can't now and it make you want to cry (scratch that, actually makes you cry) because he's one of the best things that's happened to your family and you can't find the words to thank him (you really can't), or the money to repay him (and knowing that even if you could find the money, he likely wouldn't accept it, seeing as he's already refused it once).
I knock absolutely no-one for being on OSAP, but you don't have to tell me how lucky I am that my family helps me. I'm well aware of this already. I'm not ungrateful. And sometimes it would be nice that those on OSAP would remember that my family's help has a limit, just like the government's. So maybe I have a bit of spare cash now, but I have it with the knowledge that my family sacrifices for me, I sacrifice for me.
Just because I'm not on OSAP doesn't mean I have any more (or less really) money than those that are. And this means that while I have money in my bank account, I will still use the food bank, because a few dollars saved here, will be more to give back later.
Also, you don't have to be on OSAP to use the food bank. For that matter, I owe you no explanation if I use the food bank and you have no right to say I shouldn't use it and make me feel guilty. I went through guilt-trips all of last year (and still do occasionally) for using a service that is meant to help me and make me feel better.
Maybe I have a job, maybe I don't. Maybe I have two jobs. Maybe more. It doesn't really matter. Because I've seen a few people on OSAP with the mindset of "I don't have to pay it back now so I can buy whatever I want". And I've also seen more than a few people who are well-aware that this is government money and that they have to pay it back. Anything I receive from my parents is the same.
Just because I'm not on OSAP and my family is helping me doesn't mean I don't understand what it is to look at your bank account, at how much you're spending, and put away the healthy food. Put back the good-quality meat and grab the cheaper not-so-good/okay/bad meat. Not buy fresh veggies and fruit because frozen is cheaper and just as good right now. To thank god your sister bought you a bicycle so that your hour and a half/two hours walks are now shortened exponentially (the time taken off dependent on how fast you peddle and how long before your lungs fill with phlegm because maybe you *could* afford a puffer or allergy meds, but no, you can't, you can't waste your money when you can do without so that you can pay them back).
Ignore the fact that I'm sure my mum would smack me if she knew I was skimping on things I could use (but I can live without, therefore I do). I can't do it. I can't spend money that I know I have if it means there's a little extra next time to help with the cost of school next year and they won't have to pay as much. I feel guilty.
I sometimes wish I had gone on OSAP. Loans and all, I believe the depletion of guilt might actually help.
So if you see someone you think is "so well off" carrying one of those large brown paper bags? The ones you know come from the food bank? Or carrying clothes not from Zellers in a Zellers bag (from salvation army)? Or just in general see someone buying something cheap? Don't judge. It's not up to you to decide how this person should live, you don't know how much (or how little) they have. The person you see out for dinner every couple of weeks may be eating ramen noodles (because kraft dinner is too expensive) every other night just so they can splurge on that meal (and then feel horribly guilty about it to the point where they stay up all night feeling sick for spending money on something so stupid as good food).
And if you are like me, on that fine line of well-off and poor? Don't ever, ever feel guilty for utilizing services meant for the poor. Everyone has their needs and if using the food bank means getting good shoes (that will last longer) this month? Then do it. Don't be ashamed to admit that you need a little help this month, this week, today. Don't let anyone ever tell you you don't need these services. You know exactly what you do and do not need. If you passed your midterms and decide to get bread at the food bank so you can get some ice cream today? Then that's okay.
Very often we forget, that just because we're a little better off than the next person, that we still need help sometimes too.
Not that I'm not already aware of this, but a reminder is always a good thing. So let me elaborate:
People in this article were commenting some of their own experiences with being poor, my friend being one of them.
Now I have to admit, I don't think I've ever been truly poor, but it got me thinking, and I have a few additions, even if they aren't nearly as bad as some others.
Being not-quite-so-poor is hoping you can find a plastic bag in your house so that when you go to the food bank, you don't have to use the paper ones and have your friends tell you "You don't need to use the food bank! It's for people that need it! You have a job. You use the food bank? Why?" yet again and making you feel ashamed and embarrassed, like you're taking food from other people's mouths that must be more needy than you.
Though I will admit: Being not-quite-so-poor is a friend who maxes her credit card on things she doesn't need and then says you have so much money just because you were able to get groceries.
The problem with just skimming the edge of poor is that people make you feel horribly guilty when you use a service for the needy just so that maybe this month you can buy a decent set of shoes, or hairbrush, or just even some ice cream. Because then you feel as though, well, if I can afford to splurge on this I can't be that bad. Why am I still using the service? I'm stealing from other people! Even though you've eaten cheap pasta all this week.
So, if you're wondering why I still use a food bank? Here's my reason.
Being not-quite-so-poor is knowing you have money but feeling horrible any time you spend any of it, because you didn't have money before and now you owe your *step*father your entire residence fee. And wishing you could pay him back... You just can't now and it make you want to cry (scratch that, actually makes you cry) because he's one of the best things that's happened to your family and you can't find the words to thank him (you really can't), or the money to repay him (and knowing that even if you could find the money, he likely wouldn't accept it, seeing as he's already refused it once).
I knock absolutely no-one for being on OSAP, but you don't have to tell me how lucky I am that my family helps me. I'm well aware of this already. I'm not ungrateful. And sometimes it would be nice that those on OSAP would remember that my family's help has a limit, just like the government's. So maybe I have a bit of spare cash now, but I have it with the knowledge that my family sacrifices for me, I sacrifice for me.
Just because I'm not on OSAP doesn't mean I have any more (or less really) money than those that are. And this means that while I have money in my bank account, I will still use the food bank, because a few dollars saved here, will be more to give back later.
Also, you don't have to be on OSAP to use the food bank. For that matter, I owe you no explanation if I use the food bank and you have no right to say I shouldn't use it and make me feel guilty. I went through guilt-trips all of last year (and still do occasionally) for using a service that is meant to help me and make me feel better.
Maybe I have a job, maybe I don't. Maybe I have two jobs. Maybe more. It doesn't really matter. Because I've seen a few people on OSAP with the mindset of "I don't have to pay it back now so I can buy whatever I want". And I've also seen more than a few people who are well-aware that this is government money and that they have to pay it back. Anything I receive from my parents is the same.
Just because I'm not on OSAP and my family is helping me doesn't mean I don't understand what it is to look at your bank account, at how much you're spending, and put away the healthy food. Put back the good-quality meat and grab the cheaper not-so-good/okay/bad meat. Not buy fresh veggies and fruit because frozen is cheaper and just as good right now. To thank god your sister bought you a bicycle so that your hour and a half/two hours walks are now shortened exponentially (the time taken off dependent on how fast you peddle and how long before your lungs fill with phlegm because maybe you *could* afford a puffer or allergy meds, but no, you can't, you can't waste your money when you can do without so that you can pay them back).
Ignore the fact that I'm sure my mum would smack me if she knew I was skimping on things I could use (but I can live without, therefore I do). I can't do it. I can't spend money that I know I have if it means there's a little extra next time to help with the cost of school next year and they won't have to pay as much. I feel guilty.
I sometimes wish I had gone on OSAP. Loans and all, I believe the depletion of guilt might actually help.
So if you see someone you think is "so well off" carrying one of those large brown paper bags? The ones you know come from the food bank? Or carrying clothes not from Zellers in a Zellers bag (from salvation army)? Or just in general see someone buying something cheap? Don't judge. It's not up to you to decide how this person should live, you don't know how much (or how little) they have. The person you see out for dinner every couple of weeks may be eating ramen noodles (because kraft dinner is too expensive) every other night just so they can splurge on that meal (and then feel horribly guilty about it to the point where they stay up all night feeling sick for spending money on something so stupid as good food).
And if you are like me, on that fine line of well-off and poor? Don't ever, ever feel guilty for utilizing services meant for the poor. Everyone has their needs and if using the food bank means getting good shoes (that will last longer) this month? Then do it. Don't be ashamed to admit that you need a little help this month, this week, today. Don't let anyone ever tell you you don't need these services. You know exactly what you do and do not need. If you passed your midterms and decide to get bread at the food bank so you can get some ice cream today? Then that's okay.
Very often we forget, that just because we're a little better off than the next person, that we still need help sometimes too.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Something I've Realized:
In our society full of freaking everything; out of every commercial or advertisement that promises a dependable, flawless product, the most reliable thing I will likely ever own? Is tweezers.
I've had mine for years, they have always done their job and the chances of them breaking in the near or even far-distant future is even *less* than slim-to-nil chances.
Is it odd that the most reliable thing in my life is tweezers? Not really. Everything you buy nowadays, you buy with the presumption that it will be broken sometime in the near future. Maybe a few days, a few weeks, months, years, but eventually, you expect it to break. However, when was the last time you broke a set of tweezers?
I'm not saying it doesn't happen, I'm sure it does, but short of doing it intentionally, I have never heard of someone breaking a set of tweezers.
Strange how in this world, the most unbreakable thing I can think of are tweezers.
Odd thought: Why are they called a set or pair of tweezers? Same with scissors. Or pants. Generally, something that comes in pairs can be used separately, but none of these can (well, maybe you can still use the scissors to cut stuff, but it'd be pretty damn inconvenient).
Listening to: 'Santa Claus No Sora' - Aria the Animation
I've never watched this show but the song is damn pretty.
I've had mine for years, they have always done their job and the chances of them breaking in the near or even far-distant future is even *less* than slim-to-nil chances.
Is it odd that the most reliable thing in my life is tweezers? Not really. Everything you buy nowadays, you buy with the presumption that it will be broken sometime in the near future. Maybe a few days, a few weeks, months, years, but eventually, you expect it to break. However, when was the last time you broke a set of tweezers?
I'm not saying it doesn't happen, I'm sure it does, but short of doing it intentionally, I have never heard of someone breaking a set of tweezers.
Strange how in this world, the most unbreakable thing I can think of are tweezers.
Odd thought: Why are they called a set or pair of tweezers? Same with scissors. Or pants. Generally, something that comes in pairs can be used separately, but none of these can (well, maybe you can still use the scissors to cut stuff, but it'd be pretty damn inconvenient).
Listening to: 'Santa Claus No Sora' - Aria the Animation
I've never watched this show but the song is damn pretty.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Falling In Fall
Falling in Fall
Sweet sacchrine Kisses
Like spun Sugar
Like spiders Webs
Of glistening Silk
Glitters in the Morning
Love shines like a Firefly Flickering
Falling in Fall
Sweet sacchrine Kisses
Like spun Sugar
Like spiders Webs
Of glistening Silk
Glitters in the Morning
Love shines like a Firefly Flickering
Falling in Fall
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)