I've been getting into interesting debates, well not debates per se,
discussions more, as of late regarding gender, identity and the
variations thereof.
Getting into a discussion involving the latest most-popular "Native sayings" photos to spam the feed-market (I
quote-mark for not just scepticism on my part but the sheer number
of these photos that have either been misquoted or entirely made up), I got into a discussion involving the term "two-spirited" which I was originally led to believe meant "one that is both male and female/performs both male and female roles". Which is not entirely true apparently. It's not an inaccurate definition necessarily, but two-spirited is apparently meant more as a broad-based term for a fluid sexuality. One that is not entirely male or female or fits into those specific solitary roles.
That's not really relevant to the point I want to make but anyway, it got me thinking. Someone that performs a masculine and feminine role...
It's interesting for me, because I have feminine traits but am also
masculine in ways. I still define myself as a woman though. So there's a part of me that finds it kind of funny
that we've to created these specific depictions for how a certain gender is
supposed to act and then call it
abnormal if someone is female but "acts like a male/is butch" or a man
"acts like a woman/is femme". I mostly think, how about we all act not
masculine or feminine, but just like a different, special person and
keep the boxes that determine fe/maleness out of it?
Why
exactly if someone defines as a woman but works construction and has
short hair, she's butch? Or she's trying to be a man. If a woman defines
herself as a woman, then she is one. That's it. It doesn't matter if
she wears baggy clothes, or ballcaps, or works physically demanding
jobs, or is even short-tempered, or strong-willed, she's still a woman.
Just like a man that is soft-spoken, who likes roses, and rom-coms, and
works in a hair salon, is still a man, if that is what he defines as.
And how sad is it exactly that I'm forced to relay the extreme sides as though they should be so strikingly odd?
Why
do we have gender labels and definitions? Why can't a woman wear
perfume but like working out? Why can't a man like boxing but also
flowers? Why have we crammed ourselves into these tiny little gender
boxes and live our lives in fear of trying something new, something we
could be really good at even, for fear of breaking the societal norm of
what "feminine" or "masculine" is? Fuck the words "feminine" and
"masculine". We're goddamn people. We are women, or men, or neither, or
both, or whatever. We're whatever the fuck we want to be, no matter what
our actions are.
We
shouldn't have to be afraid of expressing a part of us, for fear of
being labelled a "butch" or a "femme" or a "fag". If I say I'm a woman,
I'm a goddamn woman. If I say I'm a man, I'm a goddamn man. If I say I'm
neither, I'm neither. If I say I'm both I'm both. My "gender
expression" should have nothing to do with my "gender identity" and that
we have a term "gender expression" actually bothers me just a bit.
And I return back to that thought "one that performs male and female roles"
Well
that's my problem isn't it? Male and female roles. What are those
exactly? Men in the field, women in the kitchen? What is the definition
of a male and a female role and aren't they constantly changing? As we
broaden our definitions of "male and female roles" I
wonder: are the terms "masculine" and "feminine" truly useful anymore?
They don't describe a
person's identity, they describe their expression. And considering some
people's idea of a female
role is to be in the kitchen, any man that cooks is no longer
"masculine". Any
woman that works construction is no longer "feminine". And the ideas of
the two would change depending on each particular person's idea of a
gender role.
Honestly, I don't think there are many people anymore that
are not both "masculine" and "feminine" in ways. Feminine is used to describe an action that is seen as being female, masculine an action that is seen as being male. But men wear makeup and it doesn't make them women (actors anyone?) and women in some cultures now wear jeans and that definitely didn't make them men. Which just makes us
all people
doesn't it?
Which makes the words rather unnecessary. To try and actually honestly label us under two words, masculine or feminine is bloody ridiculous. Depending on your perception, we can all show tendencies of both.
Really, our identity is what we say it is and our expression has nothing to do with it.
(So
long as we keep within the human spectrum. I'm sorry, but if you say
you're a flying purple space monkey, that's still highly unlikely to be
true, no matter how much you wish you were.)
